today was one of those “warm your heart” sort of days. i think it was the first day i really enjoyed fall ((secretly i’ve been pitching an inward fit that my beloved hot, sun-filled summer is over)), soaking in life in all it’s ever changing moments. shedding leaves of thoughts that no longer serve me. baking what smells good. welcoming the fall sunlight.
((deep breath)) of the abiding yes.
life’s often pretty messy, but pretty just the same. last night my mood was a bit hurried and tired. my sweet boy looked up at me from his homework after i’d suggested/asked/questioned if he was working/focused/attending to his task and asked me to go and sit with cora, taking time to play with her. he added that he thought i should take life less seriously and have a bit more fun just to give myself a break and settle down. he said, “mom, your mood tells me you need a bit of fun and play.”
((deep breath)) of the abiding yes.
heavens, yes. i need a bit more fun and to take myself more playfully. even my seriousness needs more play. yes. yes. last night my sweet boy was my living wisdom. telling me to stop, sit, and be. i told him that he was giving me wisdom that would remind me to take care of myself. “maybe you should start paying me to make wisdom cards for you.” was his reply. i think i will, my boy.
wisdom is all around us. wisdom warms my heart as i listen to my boy, really listen. i moved from our kitchen table where he was working faster on his own than with a pestering mama ((when did i become a pestering mama?)) and i sat at sweetpea’s little red table in a little red chair. i held my hot mug of tea and began drawing with my girl. oh, glory. i no longer needed to sit in a fatigue-induced state of stress and avoidance. avoiding play and self care does no one any good.
one of the greatest lessons in my life these days is to take the steps toward self care with discipline, responsibility, and importance. i value my time, energy, and presence. i value my time, energy, and presence enough and more so, therefore i schedule self care. i mark it on my calendar with washi tape. i schedule time with my tribe for those tea chats that turn warm and wise. i run the hot water and add the oils. i put the kettle on.
small acts. small acts that say :: i am worthy. i am loved. i care for myself now and i will care for others soon. the now is important, folks. can i get an amen?
you are worthy. you are loved. you care for yourself now and will care for others soon.
creeping in. the table is my refuge. the table is my theology and my hospitality space and the place where creativity abounds. the table is a place hard questions are answered and asked and where truth is shared. while i didn’t expect my nearly 10 year old to name what i most needed, i received his naming for what it is – a gift.
so today was a beautiful day. a day where i lived my call, helped a few others, and checked a few tasks off the list. mostly, i was happy to be me today. happy to be a mama who trusts her boy to walk alongside and show care. a mama who needed a long day alone to work in the company of others. a mama who needed to let go of her beloved summer and say yes to fall. because it is :: fall. and i splurged, too, while supporting local artisans, visiting my favorite carytown shop and chatting with the amazing visionary Cathy at Orange Richmond. in the spirit of caring for myself ((rarely do i purchase clothes)), i now have the softest simple dress from black bird tees that i’ll enjoy wearing tomorrow.
i hope that your days are those sort of “warm your heart” sort of days and that you find beauty occupying the spaces that surround you. xo.